Meditation: 1 John 3

I know I haven’t written anything other than my Tuesday posts in a while.  The truth is that I’ve been struggling with life, trying to move forward and yet being too afraid to take the steps I need to and then feeling guilty about it.  I’ve really been struggling with it.  Even this morning I have been fighting.  And the worst of it is, when I get that way I don’t want to pray and I don’t want to read my bible; I don’t want to do or face anything.  I just want to hide behind things I don’t have to think that hard about.  But I know I shouldn’t.  It seems so silly not to pray or read the bible when I know that God provided those things for moments like these.  So I decided to read my bible.  I confess I did it in a way that I don’t believe really should be done.  I randomly opened my bible to a random place and started reading.  It was 1 John 3.

It encouraged me so much; God knew what I needed even if I was too stubborn to really go to Him myself.  The whole chapter is amazing (of course it is!) but I want to focus mainly at the end part.  “16This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. 17If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? 18Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.

“19This is how we know that we belong to the truth and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence: 20If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. 21Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God 22and receive from him anything we ask, because we keep his commands and do what pleases him. 23And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. 24The one who keeps God’s commands lives in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us.”

This was very much what I needed to hear this morning, about God’s love and His commandments and how we know that we are His.  As is normal I wrote a poem about it.  I hope that is whole post encourages you, if your heart is condemning you and if you just want to run away and hide from the face of God.  He’s still there beside You and He is the only one with the answers, with the satisfaction for your soul.

Have a blessed weekend!

‘My heart does condemn me
Over and over it wounds me
It sears my mind
It stabs my gut
And shame, guilt, anxiety
They overwhelm me
And I feel I can never break free
That I am trapped in this
Eternity
This worldly cage I’ve bound myself in
There’s no hope ever of escape
So why even try?
.
And yet here You are
Constantly whispering to me
You tell me over and over
“I love you; love others.”
“I love you; love others.”
“I love you; love others.”
And then also
“Trust Me.”
“Trust Me.”
“Trust Me.”
And I want to so much
But I’m so afraid.
I know You are worthy of trust
But I’m so focused on me now
I am scared.
I know You say You love me
But I doubt it even so.
I know I ought to love others
But I’m lazy straight down
To the bone.
And my heart condemns me
I fall into darkness
And I’m too weary to try to stand up.
.
And yet You are there
You are constantly calling to me
Never giving up
“I love you; love others.”
“I love you; love others.”
“I love you; love others.”
“Trust Me.”
“Trust Me.”
“Trust Me.”
Oh, how I long to!
You prove Your love over and over.
You prove there is joy in loving others.
You prove You are trustworthy over and over.
Yet here I am in the way
Wanting to silence Your voice
To ignore You because I’m too lazy
I’m too afraid
I can’t break free
I’m desperate
I’m alone
I can’t breathe
Why do I try
I shouldn’t even try–
“I love you; love others.”
“Trust Me.”
“I love you.  Trust Me; love others.”
“Love others.  Trust Me; I love you.”
You are still there
Calling to me.’

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