Where is the LORD?

Where is the LORD?

.

When no one is there

To help me through

When all are silent

And liars too

When there is anger

Deep in my heart—

Where are You?

Where have You gone?

.

When there is deep anguish

Inside of me

And I despise the task

In front of me

But my love for these people

Makes me feel guilty inside—

What should I do?

What shall I decide?—

When all is clouded

And I just want to hide—

Where are You, LORD?

What is good in Your sight?

.

Awake, my soul,

Stop your distress

The LORD is working here

Here, in the midst of this mess

Do not hate those who have lied to you

It is not against flesh and blood you war against

Do not let the darkness consume you

And make you blind to His way

He is the LORD and He still reigns

Talk to your brothers

And pray

Look in the Scriptures

And pray

Observe all the paths before you

And pray

The last days are coming

Pray

.

Here is the LORD.

~

“8By day the Lord directs his love, at night his song is with me— a prayer to the God of my life.  9I say to God my Rock, “Why have you forgotten me?  Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?”  10My bones suffer mortal agony as my foes taunt me, saying to me all day long, “Where is your God?”  11Why, my soul, are you downcast?  Why so disturbed within me?  Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.” ~Psalm 42

“10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” ~Ephesians 6

‘1I said, “I will watch my ways and keep my tongue from sin; I will put a muzzle on my mouth while in the presence of the wicked.”  2So I remained utterly silent, not even saying anything good.  But my anguish increased; 3my heart grew hot within me.  While I meditated, the fire burned; then I spoke with my tongue: 4“Show me, Lord, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting my life is.  5You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you.  Everyone is but a breath, even those who seem secure.  6“Surely everyone goes around like a mere phantom; in vain they rush about, heaping up wealth without knowing whose it will finally be.  7“But now, Lord, what do I look for?  My hope is in you.  8Save me from all my transgressions; do not make me the scorn of fools.”’ ~Psalm 39

Sermon on the Mount: Show Mercy

38“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ 39But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. 40And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. 41If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. 42Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.” ~Matthew 5

I deserve so much

So much pain and fear

I sent it on

To terrorize here

I saw the pain in your eyes

When I accused, when I lied

I saw the fear shaking you

When I threatened to

Ruin you

.

I deserve no mercy

I deserve nothing really

I deserve no harmony

I deserve punishment fully

.

I’ve tried to

Justify my wicked acts

I remember when you

Hurt me over and over again

I felt like I was slapped on the cheek

I wanted to bite that hand

I remember when I was accused falsely

Made to repay what wasn’t my wrong

I had to give what didn’t belong

To you

.

You deserved no mercy

You deserved nothing really

You deserved no harmony

You deserved punishment fully

.

Perhaps all of this is true

Perhaps punishment is due

But in the end does revenge

Accomplish anything really?

In the end

What do we have left?

Is it better

To suffer for being

Wicked or good?

Is it better

To show you

Mercy or justice?

Is it better

To act now or wait for

The Righteous One

To act later?

Because truly

.

We deserve no mercy

He owes us nothing really

We deserve no harmony

He owes us punishment fully

.

But the Lord

He doesn’t want to give

That punishment

He will give it even so

For He is Holy

But He offers mercy

Forgiveness

To the one who repents right now

And turns from wickedness fully

And I hope I have done so

And will continue to hold on

To His mercy seat

And that means I owe

I must do this

Show you love

Show it no matter what

And I hope you will forgive me

When I fail

For

.

He has shown mercy

He has given everything really

He has shown harmony

He has forgiven fully

~

“14For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” ~Matthew 6

“Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the LORD, and he will avenge you.” ~Proverbs 20:22

“19For it is commendable if someone bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because they are conscious of God. 20But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. 21To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.

22’He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.’

23When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. 24“He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.” 25For “you were like sheep going astray,” but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.” ~1 Peter 2

“29Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” ~Ephesians 4

“28Do not testify against your neighbor without cause— would you use your lips to mislead? 29Do not say, “I’ll do to them as they have done to me; I’ll pay them back for what they did.” ~Proverbs 24

Sermon on the Mount: Reconciliation

21“You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ 22But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell. 23Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.

25“Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. 26Truly I tell you, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.” ~Matthew 5

The anger it burns

Like a wild fire in me

I just get so angry

When faced by certain things

And when you do them

I just want to hurt you back

Over and over it happens

Like a knife stab

In the back

.

And here is my Savior

Telling me I’m murdering you

I, who’ve never committed the sin,

Am no better

And have committed it

Over and over

I judge you

As if I were above the Law

I judge you

When God has forgiven

So much

And here am I

Saying you’ve done too much

You don’t deserve any of my love—

And yet what if that were to be

God’s words to me?

.

Oh Lord

I want to worship You

But this is heavy on my heart

I leave my offering at Your feet

I go to my brother

And say “Forgive me.”

I go to my sister

And say “I forgive you.”

For that is an offering

Pleasing to You

For that is the only thing

I owe the world

To love

As You loved me

.

World be reconciled

To the Lord

Family be reconciled

To one another

Do not sin

Do not murder

In your anger

Turn, repent,

Forgive

~

Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

Hebrews 12:14 “Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord.”

Luke 17 “If your brother or sistera sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. 4Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.”

1 Peter 4:8 “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.”

Colossians 3:13 “Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”

Luke 6:27-42 “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.”

James 4 “11Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. 12There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?”

Ephesians 4 26“In your anger do not sin Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27and do not give the devil a foothold.”

My love, His love

“He who conceals a transgression seeks love,
But he who repeats a matter separates intimate friends.” ~Proverbs 17:9

Love.
I can feel it surging in me
Whenever you draw near
Love.
Sweet as honey to my tongue
And beautiful as the sun
Love.
Holds on tight to my hand
And tells me it’ll never let go
That is love to me
When I look around
And life is grand
With you

But what of the times
When life is hard
When you annoy me
When you don’t understand me
What of the times
When there’s misunderstanding
When we raise our voices
And all we feel is rage
Something most would quickly say
Is borderline hatred
Do I love you still?
Do we still love?

But, oh, quiet your soul
Be quiet, oh my soul
Let us be quick to forgive
Wrongs committed
Love is not a feeling
It is a commitment
A journey to be trod
Every single day
With you
No path stays smooth and easy
All the long way
Our muscles will get sore
And we will feel the pain
But hold onto my hand
We’ll see it through
The Lord blessed me
Blessed the sending of you
To show me His love
To show you His
Let us forgive and forget
All the wrongs that are past
Remember the Lord
And keep pushing through
To His promised land

Love.
Who could ever define it?
Who could ever reveal it?
Love.
What is it in essence?
What is it in truth?
Love.
Can you tell me its secret?
Can you hold onto its commitment?
Can you truly learn to love
Such a sinner as I?
Truly it is only love
That keeps this earth spinning
Around and around and around…
The world is full of sinners
If God’s love was not unfailing
He’d have stopped it spinning
The day Adam and Eve
Bit into the forbidden fruit…
~

“4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails.” ~ 1 Corinthians 13

“1Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children 2and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” ~Ephesians 5

“1Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save,
nor his ear too dull to hear.
2But your iniquities have separated
you from your God;
your sins have hidden his face from you,
so that he will not hear.
3For your hands are stained with blood,
your fingers with guilt.
Your lips have spoken falsely,
and your tongue mutters wicked things.
4No one calls for justice;
no one pleads a case with integrity.
They rely on empty arguments, they utter lies;
they conceive trouble and give birth to evil.
5They hatch the eggs of vipers
and spin a spider’s web.
Whoever eats their eggs will die,
and when one is broken, an adder is hatched.
6Their cobwebs are useless for clothing;
they cannot cover themselves with what they make.
Their deeds are evil deeds,
and acts of violence are in their hands.
7Their feet rush into sin;
they are swift to shed innocent blood.
They pursue evil schemes;
acts of violence mark their ways.
8The way of peace they do not know;
there is no justice in their paths.
They have turned them into crooked roads;
no one who walks along them will know peace.

9So justice is far from us,
and righteousness does not reach us.
We look for light, but all is darkness;
for brightness, but we walk in deep shadows.
10Like the blind we grope along the wall,
feeling our way like people without eyes.
At midday we stumble as if it were twilight;
among the strong, we are like the dead.
11We all growl like bears;
we moan mournfully like doves.
We look for justice, but find none;
for deliverance, but it is far away.

12For our offenses are many in your sight,
and our sins testify against us.
Our offenses are ever with us,
and we acknowledge our iniquities:
13rebellion and treachery against the Lord,
turning our backs on our God,
inciting revolt and oppression,
uttering lies our hearts have conceived.
14So justice is driven back,
and righteousness stands at a distance;
truth has stumbled in the streets,
honesty cannot enter.
15Truth is nowhere to be found,
and whoever shuns evil becomes a prey.
The Lord looked and was displeased
that there was no justice.
16He saw that there was no one,
he was appalled that there was no one to intervene;
so his own arm achieved salvation for him,
and his own righteousness sustained him.
17He put on righteousness as his breastplate,
and the helmet of salvation on his head;
he put on the garments of vengeance
and wrapped himself in zeal as in a cloak.
18According to what they have done,
so will he repay
wrath to his enemies
and retribution to his foes;
he will repay the islands their due.
19From the west, people will fear the name of the Lord,
and from the rising of the sun, they will revere his glory.
For he will come like a pent-up flood
that the breath of the Lord drives along.

20“The Redeemer will come to Zion,
to those in Jacob who repent of their sins,”
declares the Lord.

21“As for me, this is my covenant with them,” says the Lord. “My Spirit, who is on you, will not depart from you, and my words that I have put in your mouth will always be on your lips, on the lips of your children and on the lips of their descendants—from this time on and forever,” says the Lord.” ~Isaiah 59

My Anger, My Darkness

I feel a deep
Sure footed misery
Lay its cold hand upon me
And unbidden ugliness
Fills my inward parts
I see that look in your eye
My hackles raise
I hear that tone in your voice
My tongue is quick to
Outdo your hard voice
And as the moment of rage
Passes away
I am left guilty
And you are left hurting
And so the flood waters rage
Between us
Until the hurricane is
Let loose
Leaving destruction and
Tears in its wake
Words of sorrow and forgiveness
Are spoken
At least momentarily genuine
Yet my heart is hardened
Against you
When will the winds of terror
Begin again to rise?
~
I see you trembling
I see you struggling
I hardly know what terrors you face
But I know that indeed you feel
Its deadly embrace
I myself am no stranger
To the darkness
And its cold grip of fear
Clings to my skin
Yes, I should not scorn
The monster in your closet
When I look closely
I recognize it
It is brother to my own
~
How ugly are these monsters
We must daily face
Morbid and deformed
Yet no face do I find
They are pictures of agony
With no true form
And I yearn to sweep them away
But they always return
Why oh why
Do I seem so paralyzed?
Blackened and bloody
By no solid fist
Stabbed and ripped to pieces
By no true claws that exist
Yet still I run into the darkness
When there’s light to be had
I know I want to choose the good
But right now all I hold is bad
~
Mother soothes back my skin
Her humming a reminder of peace
And father leans back with a pipe in his mouth
A little twinkle in his eye
And there is my sister smiling as she knits
Her mind is not clouded like mine
And slowly I’m reminded that God is here
And where He is there is peace
Peace for all that are His
~

1“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

3“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” ~Matthew 7

“25To the faithful you show yourself faithful,
to the blameless you show yourself blameless,
26to the pure you show yourself pure,
but to the devious you show yourself shrewd.
27You save the humble
but bring low those whose eyes are haughty.
28You, Lord, keep my lamp burning;
my God turns my darkness into light.

29With your help I can advance against a troop;
with my God I can scale a wall.” ~Psalm 18