My Pain, Your Pain, The LORD

For a loved one

Trust
Trust in the LORD
If I have none
Then in what can I trust?

I know
There seems to be
Pain around
Every
Single
Corner
I know
There seems to be
No end to
The
Enemie’s
Stabs
But in the end
All I can say is
“Glory to God”
Even when I
See
No
Glory

The Word
Believe what the Word says
If I do not have it
Then what really can I
Hold onto?

I know
There seems to be
No deliverance
God’s
Forgotten
Me
I know
There seems to be
A constant
Gnawing
At
My
Soul
But in the end
The truth of the Word
Is the only thing
I can cling to
All I can do
Is
Wait
On
The
LORD

Do not reject the LORD
My child
Do not reject Him
What do you have left?
Do not spurn His Words
My friend
Do not spurn it
To what can you now cling?
I know you don’t understand
And neither do I
But if you believe God is there
And that His word is right in everything
Then why turn your back on Him now
When you most desperately need Him?
He knows all
He is over all
And in all things
He will be glorified
And His people sanctified
And His church purified
And His Name praise
“As for me and my house
We
Will
Serve
The
LORD!”
~

“9We are given no signs from God;
no prophets are left,
and none of us knows how long this will be.
10How long will the enemy mock you, God?
Will the foe revile your name forever?
11Why do you hold back your hand, your right hand?
Take it from the folds of your garment and destroy them

12But God is my King from long ago;
he brings salvation on the earth.” ~ Psalm 74

When the people of Israel were being oppressed and they cried out to God in Psalm 74, they didn’t merely say, “Act God!” or “Save us!”. And it wasn’t as if they didn’t feel rejected. But the point is that they still acknowledged God as God and wanted Him to be honored. They knew that it was His honor that was at stake, not their own annihilation.

When we’re in pain, do we reject God? When we feel crushed, do we trust His Word? His Word promises pain and not that we will always be pulled away from it. Do we believe Psalm 91 when it says “He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness will be you shield and rampart.” ? Do we believe Romans 8:28-30 when it says that God works all things for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose; these people He predestined to be conformed to the likeness of His Son; these people He called, whom He also justified, whom He also glorified? Do we believe these things when pain is strong? Do we believe that God is good all of the time?

Because if we do not believe in His word, how can we trust Him? And if we cannot trust Him, then in what can we trust?

“Trust in the Lord
With all your heart
And lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways
Acknowledge Him
And He will make your paths straight.” ~ Proverbs 3:5-6

Straight into His arms.

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My Painful Heart

There is pain
That burns in the heart
That dares to love
To love, love
There is hurt
That ever grows
In the heart
My heart, my heart
And I can’t stop the bleeding
I can’t stop seeing this
My love’s face
My love’s face

What can I do
When my love is in conflict
With my One True Love
O God, O God
What can I do?
I love You so dearly
And love to hear him love You
You love him, You love him
And I can’t stop weeping
I can’t stop feeling like
He’s falling away
He’s falling away

There is deep pain
In my heart
But I remember the day
Those days, those days
When he’d sing sweet music to You
And implore me to join
His delight was in You
Sweet Jesus, Sweet Jesus
And I can’t stop hoping
I can’t stop hoping in
Your deliverance
Your faithfulness

I know You will see him through
I know he will see You too
And this heart of mine
Will no longer feel this pain inside
Instead we will ever praise You
Praise the LORD!
Praise the LORD!
Mighty to save
Mighty in strength.
~

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it his not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;2 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” ~1 Corinthians 13

“11Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. 12The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.
13“Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.
17“When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ 20So he got up and went to his father.
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
21“The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
22“But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.” ~ Luke 15

Holy God: My Sanctification

There are days
That I feel weak,
Empty, and afraid
When this heart of gold
Begins to mold
And I’m left with
Nothing to say

I am nothing
I have nothing

There are days
When I feel weak,
Empty, and afraid
When this heart of gold
Feels so cold
In my anguish
I must pray

“Why am I this way?
Why am I nothing more?
Why am I this way?
Why have I nothing more
To show You?”

Sanctify
Sanctified
Christ like
Christ likened

There is pain
Around the corner,
Beyond the bend for me
This heart of gold
Must be refined I’m told
Til nothing black there be

He is my everything
He is my everything

There is pain
Around the corner,
Beyond the bend for me
This heart of gold
Must feel the heat of the coal
Shining pure for all to see

“Christ’s likeness you will be
I do all for your good
Christ’s likeness you will be
I do all for the good
Of those who love Me.”

Sanctify
Sanctified
Christ like
Christ likened

~

“6In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.” ~ 1 Peter 1

“2Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” ~James 1

“23May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 24The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it.” ~ 1 Thessalonians 5

“28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 29For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. 30And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.” ~Romans 8

My love, His love

“He who conceals a transgression seeks love,
But he who repeats a matter separates intimate friends.” ~Proverbs 17:9

Love.
I can feel it surging in me
Whenever you draw near
Love.
Sweet as honey to my tongue
And beautiful as the sun
Love.
Holds on tight to my hand
And tells me it’ll never let go
That is love to me
When I look around
And life is grand
With you

But what of the times
When life is hard
When you annoy me
When you don’t understand me
What of the times
When there’s misunderstanding
When we raise our voices
And all we feel is rage
Something most would quickly say
Is borderline hatred
Do I love you still?
Do we still love?

But, oh, quiet your soul
Be quiet, oh my soul
Let us be quick to forgive
Wrongs committed
Love is not a feeling
It is a commitment
A journey to be trod
Every single day
With you
No path stays smooth and easy
All the long way
Our muscles will get sore
And we will feel the pain
But hold onto my hand
We’ll see it through
The Lord blessed me
Blessed the sending of you
To show me His love
To show you His
Let us forgive and forget
All the wrongs that are past
Remember the Lord
And keep pushing through
To His promised land

Love.
Who could ever define it?
Who could ever reveal it?
Love.
What is it in essence?
What is it in truth?
Love.
Can you tell me its secret?
Can you hold onto its commitment?
Can you truly learn to love
Such a sinner as I?
Truly it is only love
That keeps this earth spinning
Around and around and around…
The world is full of sinners
If God’s love was not unfailing
He’d have stopped it spinning
The day Adam and Eve
Bit into the forbidden fruit…
~

“4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails.” ~ 1 Corinthians 13

“1Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children 2and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” ~Ephesians 5

“1Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save,
nor his ear too dull to hear.
2But your iniquities have separated
you from your God;
your sins have hidden his face from you,
so that he will not hear.
3For your hands are stained with blood,
your fingers with guilt.
Your lips have spoken falsely,
and your tongue mutters wicked things.
4No one calls for justice;
no one pleads a case with integrity.
They rely on empty arguments, they utter lies;
they conceive trouble and give birth to evil.
5They hatch the eggs of vipers
and spin a spider’s web.
Whoever eats their eggs will die,
and when one is broken, an adder is hatched.
6Their cobwebs are useless for clothing;
they cannot cover themselves with what they make.
Their deeds are evil deeds,
and acts of violence are in their hands.
7Their feet rush into sin;
they are swift to shed innocent blood.
They pursue evil schemes;
acts of violence mark their ways.
8The way of peace they do not know;
there is no justice in their paths.
They have turned them into crooked roads;
no one who walks along them will know peace.

9So justice is far from us,
and righteousness does not reach us.
We look for light, but all is darkness;
for brightness, but we walk in deep shadows.
10Like the blind we grope along the wall,
feeling our way like people without eyes.
At midday we stumble as if it were twilight;
among the strong, we are like the dead.
11We all growl like bears;
we moan mournfully like doves.
We look for justice, but find none;
for deliverance, but it is far away.

12For our offenses are many in your sight,
and our sins testify against us.
Our offenses are ever with us,
and we acknowledge our iniquities:
13rebellion and treachery against the Lord,
turning our backs on our God,
inciting revolt and oppression,
uttering lies our hearts have conceived.
14So justice is driven back,
and righteousness stands at a distance;
truth has stumbled in the streets,
honesty cannot enter.
15Truth is nowhere to be found,
and whoever shuns evil becomes a prey.
The Lord looked and was displeased
that there was no justice.
16He saw that there was no one,
he was appalled that there was no one to intervene;
so his own arm achieved salvation for him,
and his own righteousness sustained him.
17He put on righteousness as his breastplate,
and the helmet of salvation on his head;
he put on the garments of vengeance
and wrapped himself in zeal as in a cloak.
18According to what they have done,
so will he repay
wrath to his enemies
and retribution to his foes;
he will repay the islands their due.
19From the west, people will fear the name of the Lord,
and from the rising of the sun, they will revere his glory.
For he will come like a pent-up flood
that the breath of the Lord drives along.

20“The Redeemer will come to Zion,
to those in Jacob who repent of their sins,”
declares the Lord.

21“As for me, this is my covenant with them,” says the Lord. “My Spirit, who is on you, will not depart from you, and my words that I have put in your mouth will always be on your lips, on the lips of your children and on the lips of their descendants—from this time on and forever,” says the Lord.” ~Isaiah 59

My Faith

Is my faith
As pure as
Refined gold?
Did it come to me
Perfect and clean?
Can I stand here
With nothing to fear
Not even a
Pinprick of pain?

Before I stood
Before the throne
I was an ugly sinner
But standing there
Jesus rolled away the stone
He clothed me in prayer
His prayer
In the throne room now
I stand with Him
I am clean and pure
And righteous
For God sees Christ
On me

But I’m still a sinner
Still wandering the earth
I still falter
I still have so much to learn
And when pain comes
In whatever form
How could I ever say
“Lord, I thought You were good!”?
He is good
He is good

Am I willing to realize
I’m not perfect?
Won’t be until He returns
Am I willing to be refined
No matter the circumstances
No matter the pain?
I know Jesus promised suffering
But I don’t want it for me
I’ll believe anything else He says
Just let me lead
A painless life

Thank God
He loves me too much
To let me stay unsanctified
He will wash me clean
He will continue to make me
A new creation
I am a new creation
The work He began in me
He will bring to completion
I am a new creation
A new creation
Refine my faith
O LORD
Make me a new creation

“3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, 5who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.” ~ 1 Peter 1

“16So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. 17Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:a The old has gone, the new is here! 18All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: 19that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. 20We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. 21God made him who had no sin to be sinb for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” ~2 Corinthians 5

My Inspiration: Revelation 3:20

I opened my eyes, blinking in confusion. How long had I been sleeping? I wondered. It felt like it’d been– forever.

My eyes wandered around the room, but there really wasn’t much to see. In fact there was almost nothing to see. The room was pitch black, a blackness that only seemed to get thicker the more I tried to peer through it. But there was one exception. Small streams of light were poking through the cracks in a door at the far end of the room.

Funny, I didn’t remember a door being there before. I didn’t remember really much of anything before I’d fallen asleep– only my room that continued to grow darker and darker. I’d fallen asleep to dream of more darkness, and really I hadn’t expected to wake up again. If I’d ever really been awake ever in my life, that is.

Speaking of which, what had woken me now? Nothing here would have made a noise that I could tell. It hadn’t for the longest time. So what had changed?

The door, I thought.

Just then I heard it, and I jumped, startled. It was a knocking at the door. For some reason I felt fear fill me. Who could that be? What did they want? Whoever they were, they were where the light was coming from, and I didn’t really want my room or myself to get exposed by it. But still the person knocked. It wasn’t a hard, angry knock. Nor was it a timid knock. It was the knocking you’d expect a friend to make who knew you were inside and wanted to be there for you, comfort you, talk to you.

But I had no friends. Who could it possibly be? I considered just falling back asleep, but curiosity was soon overcoming my complacency and my fears. Perhaps I would just open the door a crack, see who it was, and then just ask them to go away. Besides, my room wasn’t really in any state to be entertaining guests.

I stood up, moved my foot, and instantly tripped over something. I crashed to the floor, getting a mouthful of dust. I coughed and spluttered, my arms and legs stinging from making contact with objects on the floor. I really had been sleeping a long time. I had no idea what was in my room anymore and there had to be piles of dust everywhere. I wasn’t going to get to the door without bringing danger to myself. I should just try to return to bed. It was safer there.

“Do not give up, Violet.”

I started. The voice had come from the door– a gentle, beautiful voice. And somehow he knew what I’d been thinking. “How do you know me?” I asked.

“I was there at the beginning,” he said simply. “Please, come to the door.”

“But I’ll get hurt,” I said.

“I will guide your feet. First, stand up.”

How is he going to guide my feet? I can’t see anything and he isn’t even in here, I thought. But I decided to try. I had a growing desire to see this man. I stood up.

“Good. Now, turn left and take three steps.”

I turned and walked three steps, convinced I was going to trip again, but I didn’t. He continued to direct me, the path weaving this way and that, but I never once stumbled. Finally I made it to the door. I felt for the door handle. I hesitated. “I’ve never been exposed to a lot of light,” I said, trembling. “Can you make it go away?”

“Violet, if the light goes away, I go with it. Trust me, when all things are made clear then you will know the joy of the truth.”

I didn’t understand. I closed my eyes and pulled open the door.

It didn’t matter that my eyes were closed, I could see everything perfectly. My shivering, frail, pale body sunk to the ground in fear. The man standing before me wasn’t surrounded with light– he was the light. His hair was white as wool, his eyes burning with fire, his robe tied with a golden sash. The brightness of him drove all the darkness away to reveal the dirtiness of my room, and I felt ashamed.

He reached down and touched me. I flinched, but his hand was gentle and kind. In his palm was a strange, round wound. He spoke again to me in his beautiful voice. “Do not fear, my child. I have come to make all things new.”

He lifted me up from the ground, wrapping a protective arm around my shoulders. For the first time I felt like I was safe, like I was in the presence of a good man, a friend. I trusted him. “Open your eyes,” he said softly.

I did so. My dirty place of abode had been transformed into a room fit for a princess, full of gold and jewels. I looked down at myself. I had been clothed in a beautiful dress. “I don’t deserve any of this,” I said.

“You deserve it,” he said, “because I love you. Now, let us sit and eat together.”

There was a table in the room, filled with a variety of food. All I wanted to do was sit with him, eat with him, and talk with him for all eternity.

And that is what we did.

“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.” ~Revelation 3:20

“But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for it is light that makes everything visible. That is why it is said: ‘Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.” ~Ephesians 5:14

“Since then you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.” ~ Colossians 3:1-5

I opened my eyes, blinking in confusion. How long had I been sleeping? I wondered. It felt like it’d been– forever.

My eyes wandered around the room, but there really wasn’t much to see. In fact there was almost nothing to see. The room was pitch black, a blackness that only seemed to get thicker the more I tried to peer through it. But there was one exception. Small streams of light were poking through the cracks in a door at the far end of the room.

Funny, I didn’t remember a door being there before. I didn’t remember really much of anything before I’d fallen asleep– only my room that continued to grow darker and darker. I’d fallen asleep to dream of more darkness, and really I hadn’t expected to wake up again. If I’d ever really been awake ever in my life, that is.

Speaking of which, what had woken me now? Nothing here would have made a noise that I could tell. It hadn’t for the longest time. So what had changed?

The door, I thought.

Just then I heard it, and I jumped, startled. It was a knocking at the door. For some reason I felt fear fill me. Who could that be? What did they want? Whoever they were, they were where the light was coming from, and I didn’t really want my room or myself to get exposed by it. But still the person knocked. It wasn’t a hard, angry knock. Nor was it a timid knock. It was the knocking you’d expect a friend to make who knew you were inside and wanted to be there for you, comfort you, talk to you.

But I had no friends. Who could it possibly be? I considered just falling back asleep, but curiosity was soon overcoming my complacency and my fears. Perhaps I would just open the door a crack, see who it was, and then just ask them to go away. Besides, my room wasn’t really in any state to be entertaining guests.

I stood up, moved my foot, and instantly tripped over something. I crashed to the floor, getting a mouthful of dust. I coughed and spluttered, my arms and legs stinging from making contact with objects on the floor. I really had been sleeping a long time. I had no idea what was in my room anymore and there had to be piles of dust everywhere. I wasn’t going to get to the door without bringing danger to myself. I should just try to return to bed. It was safer there.

“Do not give up, Violet.”

I started. The voice had come from the door– a gentle, beautiful voice. And somehow he knew what I’d been thinking. “How do you know me?” I asked.

“I was there at the beginning,” he said simply. “Please, come to the door.”

“But I’ll get hurt,” I said.

“I will guide your feet. First, stand up.”

How is he going to guide my feet? I can’t see anything and he isn’t even in here, I thought. But I decided to try. I had a growing desire to see this man. I stood up.

“Good. Now, turn left and take three steps.”

I turned and walked three steps, convinced I was going to trip again, but I didn’t. He continued to direct me, the path weaving this way and that, but I never once stumbled. Finally I made it to the door. I felt for the door handle. I hesitated. “I’ve never been exposed to a lot of light,” I said, trembling. “Can you make it go away?”

“Violet, if the light goes away, I go with it. Trust me, when all things are made clear then you will know the joy of the truth.”

I didn’t understand. I closed my eyes and pulled open the door.

It didn’t matter that my eyes were closed, I could see everything perfectly. My shivering, frail, pale body sunk to the ground in fear. The man standing before me wasn’t surrounded with light– he was the light. His hair was white as wool, his eyes burning with fire, his robe tied with a golden sash. The brightness of him drove all the darkness away to reveal the dirtiness of my room, and I felt ashamed.

He reached down and touched me. I flinched, but his hand was gentle and kind. In his palm was a strange, round wound. He spoke again to me in his beautiful voice. “Do not fear, my child. I have come to make all things new.”

He lifted me up from the ground, wrapping a protective arm around my shoulders. For the first time I felt like I was safe, like I was in the presence of a good man, a friend. I trusted him. “Open your eyes,” he said softly.

I did so. My dirty place of abode had been transformed into a room fit for a princess, full of gold and jewels. I looked down at myself. I had been clothed in a beautiful dress. “I don’t deserve any of this,” I said.

“You deserve it,” he said, “because I love you. Now, let us sit and eat together.”

There was a table in the room, filled with a variety of food. All I wanted to do was sit with him, eat with him, and talk with him for all eternity.

And that is what we did.

“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.” ~Revelation 3:20

“But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for it is light that makes everything visible. That is why it is said: ‘Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.” ~Ephesians 5:14

“Since then you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.” ~ Colossians 3:1-5