Meditation: 1 John 3

I know I haven’t written anything other than my Tuesday posts in a while.  The truth is that I’ve been struggling with life, trying to move forward and yet being too afraid to take the steps I need to and then feeling guilty about it.  I’ve really been struggling with it.  Even this morning I have been fighting.  And the worst of it is, when I get that way I don’t want to pray and I don’t want to read my bible; I don’t want to do or face anything.  I just want to hide behind things I don’t have to think that hard about.  But I know I shouldn’t.  It seems so silly not to pray or read the bible when I know that God provided those things for moments like these.  So I decided to read my bible.  I confess I did it in a way that I don’t believe really should be done.  I randomly opened my bible to a random place and started reading.  It was 1 John 3.

It encouraged me so much; God knew what I needed even if I was too stubborn to really go to Him myself.  The whole chapter is amazing (of course it is!) but I want to focus mainly at the end part.  “16This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. 17If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? 18Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.

“19This is how we know that we belong to the truth and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence: 20If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. 21Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God 22and receive from him anything we ask, because we keep his commands and do what pleases him. 23And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. 24The one who keeps God’s commands lives in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us.”

This was very much what I needed to hear this morning, about God’s love and His commandments and how we know that we are His.  As is normal I wrote a poem about it.  I hope that is whole post encourages you, if your heart is condemning you and if you just want to run away and hide from the face of God.  He’s still there beside You and He is the only one with the answers, with the satisfaction for your soul.

Have a blessed weekend!

‘My heart does condemn me
Over and over it wounds me
It sears my mind
It stabs my gut
And shame, guilt, anxiety
They overwhelm me
And I feel I can never break free
That I am trapped in this
Eternity
This worldly cage I’ve bound myself in
There’s no hope ever of escape
So why even try?
.
And yet here You are
Constantly whispering to me
You tell me over and over
“I love you; love others.”
“I love you; love others.”
“I love you; love others.”
And then also
“Trust Me.”
“Trust Me.”
“Trust Me.”
And I want to so much
But I’m so afraid.
I know You are worthy of trust
But I’m so focused on me now
I am scared.
I know You say You love me
But I doubt it even so.
I know I ought to love others
But I’m lazy straight down
To the bone.
And my heart condemns me
I fall into darkness
And I’m too weary to try to stand up.
.
And yet You are there
You are constantly calling to me
Never giving up
“I love you; love others.”
“I love you; love others.”
“I love you; love others.”
“Trust Me.”
“Trust Me.”
“Trust Me.”
Oh, how I long to!
You prove Your love over and over.
You prove there is joy in loving others.
You prove You are trustworthy over and over.
Yet here I am in the way
Wanting to silence Your voice
To ignore You because I’m too lazy
I’m too afraid
I can’t break free
I’m desperate
I’m alone
I can’t breathe
Why do I try
I shouldn’t even try–
“I love you; love others.”
“Trust Me.”
“I love you.  Trust Me; love others.”
“Love others.  Trust Me; I love you.”
You are still there
Calling to me.’

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Sermon on the Mount: Satisfied

“6Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.” ~Matthew 5

I am so thirsty

I am so hungry

I am so weary

Of never being satisfied

I am sad

So I drown myself

In useless pleasures

I am angry

So I fill my mouth

With hurtful, stabbing words

But in the end

I feel nothing better

In the end

I am still empty

.

Come, come

All who are weary

Drink Living Water

And eat the Bread of Life

He will put your souls

At rest

When you seek Him

With all your heart

Strength and mind

You will certainly find Him

He will not turn you away

Drink

Thirst no more

Eat

And be satisfied

.

Isaiah 55:1-2
“Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost.  Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and you will delight in the richest of fare.

28“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” ~Matthew 11

 “13You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” ~Jeremiah 29

Psalm 63:1
You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water.

John 4:14
but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

35Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.” ~John 6

My King: The Throne Room

I sing
In the throne room
Of the King
Of my heart
Of my heart
I praise the Lord of the
Heavenly glaze
He’s a whole of a part
A whole of a part
Don’t stop to stare
The night is melting
The day is daring
To fair well
At the hands of
My King

I sing
In the throne room
Of my King
In my heart
In my heart
I praise His hand
That surrounds me
In a rainbow ring
That’s how it starts
It starts with
His mouth
And the faith He grows
I give a shout
And He works in me
In my hands I work
For my King

Don’t bury your head
Deep down in the sand
Don’t fall asleep
In the promised land
Trudge, trudge onward
There’s a mountain on fire
Full of promised surprise

Oh the glory
Oh the holiness
Oh the glory
Of His mightiness
Oh praise Him
The King of
Our souls
Oh praises to
Oh singing to
You LORD
You, King
Of my heart
In my heart

Kneeling in
The throne room
Of my King
~

Revelation 4:

“1After this I looked, and there before me was a door standing open in heaven. And the voice I had first heard speaking to me like a trumpet said, “Come up here, and I will show you what must take place after this.” 2At once I was in the Spirit, and there before me was a throne in heaven with someone sitting on it. 3And the one who sat there had the appearance of jasper and ruby. A rainbow that shone like an emerald encircled the throne. 4Surrounding the throne were twenty-four other thrones, and seated on them were twenty-four elders. They were dressed in white and had crowns of gold on their heads. 5From the throne came flashes of lightning, rumblings and peals of thunder. In front of the throne, seven lamps were blazing. These are the seven spirits of God. 6Also in front of the throne there was what looked like a sea of glass, clear as crystal.

In the center, around the throne, were four living creatures, and they were covered with eyes, in front and in back. 7The first living creature was like a lion, the second was like an ox, the third had a face like a man, the fourth was like a flying eagle. 8Each of the four living creatures had six wings and was covered with eyes all around, even under its wings. Day and night they never stop saying:

“ ‘Holy, holy, holy
is the Lord God Almighty,’
who was, and is, and is to come.”

9Whenever the living creatures give glory, honor and thanks to him who sits on the throne and who lives for ever and ever, 10the twenty-four elders fall down before him who sits on the throne and worship him who lives for ever and ever. They lay their crowns before the throne and say:

11“You are worthy, our Lord and God,
to receive glory and honor and power,
for you created all things,
and by your will they were created
and have their being.”

My Painful Heart

There is pain
That burns in the heart
That dares to love
To love, love
There is hurt
That ever grows
In the heart
My heart, my heart
And I can’t stop the bleeding
I can’t stop seeing this
My love’s face
My love’s face

What can I do
When my love is in conflict
With my One True Love
O God, O God
What can I do?
I love You so dearly
And love to hear him love You
You love him, You love him
And I can’t stop weeping
I can’t stop feeling like
He’s falling away
He’s falling away

There is deep pain
In my heart
But I remember the day
Those days, those days
When he’d sing sweet music to You
And implore me to join
His delight was in You
Sweet Jesus, Sweet Jesus
And I can’t stop hoping
I can’t stop hoping in
Your deliverance
Your faithfulness

I know You will see him through
I know he will see You too
And this heart of mine
Will no longer feel this pain inside
Instead we will ever praise You
Praise the LORD!
Praise the LORD!
Mighty to save
Mighty in strength.
~

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it his not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;2 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” ~1 Corinthians 13

“11Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. 12The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.
13“Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.
17“When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ 20So he got up and went to his father.
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
21“The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
22“But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.” ~ Luke 15

Holy God: My Sanctification

There are days
That I feel weak,
Empty, and afraid
When this heart of gold
Begins to mold
And I’m left with
Nothing to say

I am nothing
I have nothing

There are days
When I feel weak,
Empty, and afraid
When this heart of gold
Feels so cold
In my anguish
I must pray

“Why am I this way?
Why am I nothing more?
Why am I this way?
Why have I nothing more
To show You?”

Sanctify
Sanctified
Christ like
Christ likened

There is pain
Around the corner,
Beyond the bend for me
This heart of gold
Must be refined I’m told
Til nothing black there be

He is my everything
He is my everything

There is pain
Around the corner,
Beyond the bend for me
This heart of gold
Must feel the heat of the coal
Shining pure for all to see

“Christ’s likeness you will be
I do all for your good
Christ’s likeness you will be
I do all for the good
Of those who love Me.”

Sanctify
Sanctified
Christ like
Christ likened

~

“6In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.” ~ 1 Peter 1

“2Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” ~James 1

“23May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 24The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it.” ~ 1 Thessalonians 5

“28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 29For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. 30And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.” ~Romans 8

My Heart Is…

My heart is bigger

Than my mind

I can’t figure out

How to accomplish

What I’ve set out

To do

~

My heart is more kind

Than my eyes

I can’t see all

The love I know

Exists out there

~

My heart hopes more

Than my feet can take

I can’t carry out

What I desire to

Share with the world

~

My heart is more helpful

Than my hands

I can’t find enough to do

To satisfy my desire

To help all near to me

~

My heart is more truthful

Than my mouth is willing to be

I wish to speak

More than not

But the fear persuades me

~

My heart is smaller

Than the Heart of my Maker

He is bigger than anything

I could ever become

Jesus is His heart in me

~

“For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.” ~Philippians 2:13

My Son

My light
Shines on you
And wakens up
New life
Your heart beats
Anew
And away with
Death and strife
I broke apart
Your heart of stone
And planted there
My righteous
Throne
Come to Me
Breathe and live
~
My voice
Calls out to you
And brings to you
Redemption
Your ears hear life
Anew
And clings to the ways
Of salvation
I burned away all
That was false in you
And echo in your mind
All that is true
Come to Me
Confess and live
~
Breathe in My breath
And look on My light
Drink in My words
Let it in and live
Confess My Son as LORD
~
Confess My Son as LORD
Let Him in and live
Drink His words at His feet
And look on His face
Breathe Him in and out
~
Confess Jesus Christ and live